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Where The Flat-dogs Graze By Tony Clark "Hey - ek say - spot the Flat-dogs! They'll chaff you tilt like an organ-grinder!" The words of wisdom echo back to me as I remember our army patrol wading across a river in Northern Zimbabwe. (Quick translation - "spot" = "look out for"; "flat-dogs"= crocodiles; "chaff you tilt" = "kill you" - from pinball machines; "organ-grinder" = "army doctor". We would wade warily, guns trained on any floating 'logs'. In those days we saw a vast range of African wildlife, compliments of the army. Fortunately, those days are over and Zimbabwe has reverted to being a far more peaceful and welcoming place. But the wildlife and scenery is as spectacular as ever. And the people as friendly. We used to say that the further north you went from the Cape of Good Hope, the friendlier the people are. Zimbabwe is less well known than its neighbour South Africa, but deserves to be explored for its own merits. A land-locked country in Southern Africa, it is bounded by the Zambezi river and Zambia to the North, mountains and Mozambique to the east, South Africa and Botswana to the South and East. And it offers a wide range of different vacation experiences. But at the outset, I have a word of warning. A vacation in Zimbabwe will be memorable, will expand your understanding of other peoples, other cultures. But it is not a bland, vanilla repetition of a North American or European vacation. If you are going to the north of the country, you need to take anti-malaria protection. If you are going into the bush with a guide, LISTEN to the guide. Don't try to pet the lions! Oh, and the bureaucracy you will encounter from time to time is not efficient and sometimes not friendly. Now the label warnings are over, prepare to have a blast if you go to Zimbabwe. An absolute must is one of the seven wonders of the world - Victoria Falls, also known as 'Mosi Oa Tunya' (the smoke that thunders). There's a RCI Gold Crown resort there - Lokuthula Lodge -that looks great - thatched cottage accommodation. For the more adventurous, try a bungee jump off the road bridge that crosses the chasm just below the falls. They have to winch you back up on that jump because the water below is inaccessible. Or take the white water rafting down the Gorges that boil below the falls. For those who prefer more relaxed pursuits you can take a guided canoe or sunset boat trip up the Zambezi River. Wildlife spotting is great with several types of buck, baboons, hippos and crocs in the area. Take a fifteen minute flight over the falls - "The Flight of Angels". Be sure to visit the old Victoria Falls Hotel and say hello to George the Doorman. George has worked there for over 35 years and wears a bemedalled uniform and a smile as wide as the falls themselves. It's the perfect spot for a sundowner. A few miles to the west lies the biggest game reserve in Zimbabwe - the Hwange Game Reserve. Game spotting is de riguer of course, with sunrise and sunset being the best times. I can guarantee a sleepless first night as you lie awake trying to figure out which animal goes with what noise. But you soon get over worrying about that. Some distance to the east lies Lake Kariba, a massive man made lake. Here you have the option of another timeshare - Carribea Bay - or hire a houseboat complete with your own crew who wait on you hand and foot. Try the tiger fishing (that's throwing a line at a tiger fish - not catching swimming tigers). The tiger fish is reputed to be one of the best fighting fish in the world. Over to the east of Zimbabwe is a more mountainous region - the Nyanga Mountains. For golfing fanatics there's another Gold Crown resort - Troutbeck Inn with a golf course that's just breathtaking in its scenery. Fishing enthusiasts can try their hand at trout fishing. Now (and here's the big secret) most of what you buy is incredibly cheap. Apart from airfares and hotel costs (equivalent to US costs), food, booze and entertainment is incredibly cheap by US standards. My brother-in-law visited last year and hosted a 5 course meal for 6 people at a restaurant - with beer and spirits - and it set him back $70. One last warning. Visit Zimbabwe at your own risk - you may fall in love with it. Tony Clark is a VP of a software company, based in Perth, Western Australia. With offices around the world, he is a frequent traveller to the USA and UK. A newcomer to timesharing, he is well travelled, having lived and worked in London, Southern Africa and Australia. Tony will be giving us his personal perspectives on business travel, Southern Africa and Australia/New Zealand and timeshares. He can be contacted at tony@ermapper.com.au. (Check out the biggest image (190,000Mb) ever shown on the internet - without locking up your computer - at http://www.EarthEtc.com.)

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