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What Does Confidence Count For?
By Michael S. Finn, RRP
As I cited in my previous article, the three components to being
a great sales executive are Attitude, Confidence and Enthusiasm. Using the acronym ACE we can remind ourselves
of this on a daily basis.
Our second element is Confidence and it can be a tricky one. Actually, quite often I have heard people use the
term control in its place. But as many of you may know by now I tend to make up my own rules. I find that they
are easier to follow when I make them up for myself. Confidence and Control work very well together, so let's keep
them that way.
I am a firm believer that control comes when you have confidence. If you are confident that you are in control
of a situation, you will be amazed by what you can accomplish. I get a lesson in this every evening when I get
home. You see, I have a two-year old daughter. If anyone wants a lesson in control, just hang out with a two-year
old. As tired as I might be, when I get home and loft myself on the couch with a big sigh. I know it will only
be a temporary rest though. Without fail my daughter will be by my side, usually grabbing my pinky and saying "Up
Daddy". Guess what I do? Yes I get up. Next is "me room". For those not adept in baby talk, that
means, "Get moving we are going to my room". The "get moving" is implied. This now moves to
"sit daddy", and you had better be sitting in the proper chair; mind you these chairs are six inches
off the ground and barely as wide (yes, the couch was much more comfortable). It is not until now, that I may receive
a bit of cordiality. It is time to dispense the tea. My daughter's special blend of poured air. On a good night
I get an imaginary biscuit as well. What makes a grown man go through all this…. Control. She has it, I do not.
Game, set, and match.
Think about how valuable a tool this is in sales. To be able to steer someone around like this and have him or
her answer to your every whim. It would be gold in our arena. This is the second component of being an ACE.
I always had a very specific order in how I did my presentation. It could be adjusted, but the integrity of the
presentation would never be lost. I would always greet my guests by their proper names. Hello Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
with a sturdy handshake. At this point I would ask permission to call them by their first names. In thousands of
tours this has never been rebuffed. Now some old school people may see my politeness as weakness or lack of control.
Oh contraire. There is a difference between control and bullying. Permission is the key to real control. Look at
the story above, my daughter has complete control, because I allow it and most often enjoy it. Our guests are the
same way; they will allow you to have control if they feel that you deserve it.
Now what does this new found control get you…everything!
Now, when I get to the table I seat Mrs. Smith to my right and Mr. Smith to her right. And over 98% of my guests
will never ask why. For that other small percentage that may question it, why lie. Tell them the truth. I would
always ask, who balances the checkbook; most often it would be the woman. Normally I did not need to say anymore.
The other benefits are you are not playing ping-pong and talking from right to left all day. This also can offer
a sore neck. More importantly I can control the flow of conversation. If I talk to the man, the woman is part of
the conversation. Where if the man is by my side I may make the woman feel that she is not included. This is a
sure recipe for failure.
This is my formula for success, yours may be different. The key is to know what that formula is and stay in control
of it.
Can you just take control? The answer is no, you must earn it and ask for permission. The only way to do this is
to have complete confidence in your ability to do so.
Some might say that Control without permission is like trespassing on private property.
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Michael S. Finn, RRP,
writes an insightful bi-weekly column regarding issues of ethical and profitable sales & marketing. Read his bio here
Email: Michaelsfinn@aol.com Published
on Mondays.
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