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Character
"Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow.
The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing."
- Abraham Lincoln -
My Pop used to say that if you are a character it's the role you play for others,
however if you have character it's with you even when you are alone. Some would say that was simply a matter of
opinion or mincing words. I tend to go along with my Pop most of the time because not only did he have character,
he was one. Several years ago this column was titled Self Confidence and contained the following about Pop:
"He married a childhood sweetheart, moved into a house about a mile and 1/2 down the road from the general
store and began to raise a family. He had an infectious laugh and loved to whistle. People always knew when he
was around because they could hear him before they could see him. While he never achieved monetary wealth, he achieved
riches beyond his station. He was indeed the best liked, most trusted and deeply respected individual I have ever
known. He was my Pop and he taught me above all else.... You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall
your father was."
I don't know what you believe character is, however, I would like to think that my Pop passed along a little bit
of his to me in what I have described as Life Lessons. Perhaps some of the principles he lived by and taught me
are familiar...
Your character is defined by what you do, not what you say or believe.
As Pop would say: You have to walk the talk, put your money where your mouth is or not show & tell, just
show.
Every choice you make helps define the kind of person you are choosing to be.
As Pop would say: We always have a choice, in fact because we are humans, we create for ourselves the alternative
of choice.
Good character requires doing the right thing, even when it is costly or risky.
I once asked pop how he always knew what the right thing was, this was his reply: "Your head and your heart
are always in agreement when it's the right thing to do."
You don't have to take the worst behavior of others as a standard for yourself.
Pop taught me that when choosing a model it was best to choose one who lived their life outward rather than
inward. Back then I am not sure that I fully understood what he was trying to convey however; I now understand
that the outward lives are generally selfless and the inward lives are generally selfish.
You can be/do better than that.
Pop said that I should never let my satisfaction level be filled. It took a while to learn that simple lesson
that my personal best, was not... No matter what the achievement, if I became satisfied, I had placed will on the
shelf like a trophy.
What you do matters, and one person can make a big difference.
Perhaps the greatest life and/or character building lesson Pop attempted to teach me was that a life could never
live in total isolation. That whether I knew it or not, in passing, bits and pieces of my life were left behind
for something or someone to observe, and then discard as worthless or hold up and admire.
FINAL THOUGHT
In many of today's schools they have character development programs. The basis of many of these programs has become
known as the Six Pillars of Character. They are: Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring,
and Citizenship. Others have sited what they believe are the Eleven Attributes of Character: They include
Respect, Responsibility and Fairness then add Initiative, Courage, Compassion, Perseverance, Optimism, Honesty
and Inclusiveness. Perhaps the differences are just a play on words. Is Honesty just another word for Trustworthiness?
Is Caring and Compassion the same thing?
I'm not sure that I understand how you go about teaching character in school. I know you can give definition to
the words used in the Six Pillars and/or the Eleven Attributes, however, how do you put Courage on
the blackboard, what curve do you use to grade Honesty or Perseverance? I guess they have to make the attempt
to teach character in school because there is not enough modeling of the Pillars or Attributes going on in the
world outside of classrooms.
I'm not sure that today's lessons are the same as those Objective Standards taught or modeled by my Pop. As an
example, Pop taught me that ethics was important in one's character. His lesson was that ethics was that right
was right and wrong was wrong, no exception, black & white if you will. Another set of Objective Standards
you may know are the Ten Commandments (shall not lie - shall not steal). At the opposite end of the spectrum is
the philosophy that "postmodern" society takes when they view right and wrong as fluid and changing depending
on the situation and the desired outcome. If such philosophies are what they 'teach' in our schools in the 'character
development' programs and today's parents are not 'modeling' objective standards like my Pop did, I fear for today's
youth.
Pop would say that it was his duty to put me on the right path however, he could not walk that path for me. He
emphasized that my character would change and grow with every confrontation or chance encounter along that path
and that at some point I would surely become my own pathfinder.
Thanks Pop...
JS 2/06
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Jerry Sikes,
RRP / CHA, is President of Professional Resort Operators, Inc., Scottsdale, Arizona. He has over 35 years in the
Hospitality Industry / over 25 years in Timesharing, and is the current Co-Chairman of ARDA Arizona as well as
Chairman of the Arizona Timeshare Management Association.
Jerry is a frequent guest speaker regionally and nationally on all aspects of Timeshare Management and a frequent
contributor of articles for industry publications. He writes informative and easy to read weekly columns on the
business of properly managing resorts and people, and on other issues of interest to the industry.
READ THE COLUMN
Email: boyjerry@cox.net
Web site: http://www.protimeshare.com |
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