NEEDS (Part 2)
“It seems to me that our three basic needs, for food and
security and love, are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think of one without the others.
So it happens that when I write of hunger, I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth
and the love of it and the hunger for it. and ... then the warmth and richness and fine reality of hunger satisfied,
and it is all one.” - M.F.K. Fisher -
Dubious Honors, part 2 (1988).
Part 1 indicated the needs of man have frequently been investigated and described,
that the needs pyramid can be refined, modified and supplemented at will. For our purposes it is not particularly
meaningful to generalize the needs of man too strongly. In spite of this: Whoever observes human beings sees that
in spite of their individuality the great majority of people set very similar priorities.
It could be that after the basic survival needs begin to be satisfied the most common of the other needs is
that of acceptance. That need can be observed in people regardless of age. Children, all the way through their
teens, do a great many things out of the desire to be accepted by their peers. It is called "peer pressure".
They swear, tell dirty stories, smoke cigarettes, use drugs, drink alcohol, engage in premarital sex, steal, commit
acts of vandalism, and do many other things just to be accepted by those whose friendship they value. Peer
pressure even dictates the kind of clothes they must wear and the way their hair must be cut. Many of these actions
continue into adulthood. They swear, drink, smoke, use drugs, tell dirty stories, etc. just to be one of the gang
--- just to be accepted, just like children.. They too follow the latest fads, wear the latest fashion in
clothing, cut their hair according to the latest cut. Some even choose their ideas and opinions according
to the latest fashion. And it is all done for the regard, acceptance and approval of others. There are several
aspects of acceptance: Self-Acceptance, Acceptance by others and Acceptance of others.
In his book I’m OK-You’re OK, Tom Harris
stated four possible positions that can be taken in relation to self and others.
- 1. I’m Not OK, You’re OK. This person is at the mercy of others and needs a lot of support. He lets others
know he rejects himself and needs their acceptance and support.
2. I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK. These people give up all hope of being happy and usually pulls away from relationships.
Rejection flows in both directions.
3. I’m OK, You’re Not OK. This ultra independent person does not want to get involved with others. She lets
others know that she is fine, but they are not.
4. I’m OK, You’re OK. This person decides that he and others are valuable. He lets others know that he appreciates
their strengths and that he appreciates his own strengths. He is free to have meaningful relationships and to grow.
When considering the issue of acceptance most think only of the need to be accepted. In reality the need of
self-acceptance is much more difficult to satisfy in many individuals. It is that ‘I’m Not Ok’ position we sometimes
identify as low self-esteem. That position is one of having looked at myself and found myself wanting. I have stood
myself in judgment and found that I come up short when compared to others. They are smarter, better-looking, taller,
richer, better liked, funnier and so on and so on, using every word possible to describe superiority in others.
A person with low self-esteem fears others will “find them out” and dislike or reject them. They have a difficult
time letting people know what they are thinking or feeling. When a person with low self-esteem reveals exactly
how they feel about them self, they have taken the first step toward self-acceptance and growth. In order to make
the transition from low to high self-esteem, from ‘I’m Not OK to I’m OK,’ an individual needs to start learning
to accept themselves by setting up cycles of self-fulfilling prophesies. Such a cycle would be to begin thinking
well of themselves and when they do so, the cycle will naturally lead to expecting others to think well of them.
The cycle continues as others do begin to think and is completed by confirming the original thought.
In order to begin thinking well of themselves low self-esteem individuals should begin to accept that undesired
aspect are a natural evolutionary response to the various stresses, disappointments, difficulties, and challenges
they have encountered until now in their lives. Learn to understand these aspects of their being. They are parts
of them, which deserves their love and acceptance as it is. They need to understand what those parts of them are
actually seeking through that behavior. They might be seeking security, affirmation, freedom or perhaps release
of tension. This second step is to understand these parts of themselves and realize how they feel and what they
need. Next they need to begin to reeducate those parts of themselves and help them understand what is really in
their benefit and how they can achieve real security, self-worth, freedom and fulfillment. They can do this by
beginning an internal dialogue with each of those aspects in which they listen to its needs and then explain how
they perceive their lives. They can then decide to keep the old habits or move on to the new way of behaving.
Then they need to take the position of their higher wiser self and speak to both parts of themselves. The aspect
that wants to change and the one that does not, are equally parts of our being. They are like children and they
need to be accepted and loved as they are. They need to be helped to love harmoniously in the same body and mind.
In the end, each individual need to understand that their true being is not limited to either of these aspects.
They are something much greater.
In the workplace, a person with a need for Acceptance needs to feel they are accepted, as well as accepting
others. They can be a valuable addition to any group by often becoming a stabilizing presence and helping team
members tolerate each other a little better. However, they may "go along" to whatever proposals are made
to avoid any conflict in a group. It is very hard for them to express any different opinion because of their fear
of being rejected. They can be seen as a "doormat" with no opinion of their own or their time may be
abused since they will rarely criticize others or say "no." Because of this, they may be rejected by
others, which causes them more severe pain because of their high need for acceptance. This ‘I’m OK, I’m not OK’
syndrome will continue until their fellow associates begin to reinforce their acceptance and constantly indicate
to them –‘You’re OK’.
In Part 1 the need for power was expressed as ‘The need to be in a position of authority and responsibility
and the need to explore power, leadership and accomplishment.’ We all know that power can be used and it can be
abused. The way power is used almost totally depends upon the reasons individuals ‘need’ to achieve or acquire
it. If an individual’s need for power is driven out of their sense of security they may use power (once achieved)
to enhance the sense of security for others. Example: The leader who uses their position of leadership to
drive fear out of the workplace thus enhancing the feeling of security, which then assures better quality and productivity,
does so most often by exploiting the strengths of others. If an individual’s need for power is driven out
of their sense of insecurity they may use power (once achieved) almost totally in the effort to maintain power.
Example: The leader who uses their position of leadership to maintain fear in the workplace thus eliminating any
threats from pretenders to the throne, do so most often by exploiting the weaknesses of others. World history has
provided other examples such as Mahatma Gandhi vs. Adolf Hitler.
In his book titled Mahatma Gandhi, Peaceful Revolutionary Haridas T. Muzumdar writes: “Let us be sure
we do not misunderstand the philosophy of non-violence embodied in Gandhi's life and teachings. A practitioner
of the non-violent way of life, far from being passive, is the most active person in the world. He is ready to
join the fray -non-violently -- wherever and whenever there is injustice or wrong. He neither tolerates nor compromises
with injustice, wrong, tyranny, authoritarianism, totalitarianism, or dictatorship. His task in life is not to
destroy the evildoer but to redeem and to convert the evildoer by love.”
In a speech at Kulmbach on February 5th 1928 Adolf Hitler stated: “The idea of struggle is
as old as life itself, for life is only preserved because other living things perish through struggle. In this
struggle, the stronger, the more able, win, while the less able, the weak, lose. Struggle is the father of all
things. It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal
world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle ” and “Once in power I will never let power
be taken from me.”
There are all kinds of power and two of them have been identified as the most important management secrets because
they are the key factors in how well people perform at work. Those powers would be the Pygmalion and the Galatea
Effects. These effects deal with expectations, the expectations people have of others (Pygmalion) and the expectations
people have of themselves (galatea).
Consider these facts about the Pygmalion effect. (a) Every supervisor has expectations of the people who report
to him. (b) Supervisors communicate these expectations consciously or unconsciously. (c) People pick up on, or
consciously or unconsciously read, these expectations from their supervisor. And (d) People perform in ways that
are consistent with the expectations they have picked up on from the supervisor.
Sterling Livingston in the September/October, 1988 Harvard Business Review described it this way: “The
Pygmalion effect enables staff to excel in response to the manager’s message that they are capable of success and
expected to succeed. The Pygmalion effect can also undermine staff performance when the subtle communication from
the manager tells them the opposite. These cues are often subtle. As an example, the supervisor fails to praise
a staff person's performance as frequently as he/she praises others. The supervisor talks less to a particular
employee. If the supervisor is unskilled, he/she leaves scars on the careers of the young men (and women), cuts
deeply into their self-esteem and distorts their image of themselves as human beings. But if he/she is skillful
and has high expectations of his/her subordinates, their self-confidence will grow, their capabilities will develop
and their productivity will be high.” Can you imagine how performance will improve if your supervisors communicate
positive thoughts about people to people? If the supervisor actually believes that every employee has the ability
to make a positive contribution at work, the telegraphing of that message, either consciously or unconsciously,
will positively affect employee performance. When the supervisor holds positive expectations about people, he/she
helps individuals improve their self-concept and thus, self-esteem.
Even more powerful than the Pygmalion effect, the Galatea effect is a compelling factor in employee performance.
The manager, who can assist employees to believe in themselves and in their efficiency, has harnessed a powerful
performance improvement tool. This transformation from ‘I’m not OK to I’m Ok’ becomes a "self-fulfilling
prophecy." Applied as the Galatea effect, these words mean that the individual's opinion about his ability
and his self-expectations about his performance largely determine his performance. If an employee thinks she can
succeed, she will likely succeed. Consequently, any actions the supervisor can take that increase the employee's
feelings of positive self-worth, will help the employee's performance improve. Some of the actions a supervisor
can take are: (a) To provide opportunities for the employee to experience increasingly challenging assignments
and making sure she succeeds at each level before moving forward. (b) Enabling the employee to participate in potentially
successful projects that bring continuous improvement to the workplace. (c) To provide one-to-one coaching with
the employee. This coaching should emphasize improving what the employee does well rather than focusing on the
employee's weaknesses. (d) To provide developmental opportunities that reflect what the employee is interested
in learning. (e) To assign a successful senior employee to play a developmental mentoring role with the employee.
(f) To make sure the employee is receiving consistent messages from other supervisory personnel. How you speak
to others about employees powerfully molds their opinions. And (g) To project your sincere commitment to the employee's
success and ongoing development.
If management sincerely desires to implement a program involving participative management, managers should introduce
programs that genuinely reflect their intention to treat employees as though they are truly appreciated, as well
as experts at their jobs. In effect, employee involvement usually allows employees to utilize his or her expertise.
When management does this, a "Pygmalion effect" may result, which will hopefully lead to a "Galatea
effect." A "Pygmalion effect" occurs when people live up to the high expectations that others have
of them. A "Galatea Effect" occurs when a person becomes self-motivated. In essence, if management assumes
that people want to contribute to the organization and tries to inspire them by seeking techniques to tap into
that expertise or wealth of knowledge, the end results can be, improved productivity, better decision-making, and
high quality of work life.
According to the Fairness, Equity and Dignity (EE.I.) principle, as coined by Dr. Kent Curtis, a professor and
a scholar, participative management requires managers to treat their employees fairly, equitably, and with dignity.
The primary goal of participative management is to help employees and management operate in the most effective
manner. It is imperative that employees become familiar with profits and losses, the cost of products and services,
quality, and customer satisfaction. Thus, perhaps it is necessary to require extensive cross-training and shared
authority for everyone involved. By using such an approach, the employee may no longer be confined to a narrowly
defined job, which could ultimately relieve boredom and fatigue.
Have we come to any conclusions? I don’t know. It could be that a deeper look at the human need as they unveil
themselves in our workplaces is the only way that we can address some of today’s challenges with respect to our
Human Resources.
Will the needs for Adventure, Freedom and Community be our undoing? Clearly they will require some thinking
outside the box . . .
Stay
tuned for Part 3.
