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 Adios Guatemala!
July 5, 2005
Once again it's time for me to say goodbye to another
temporary home. They've all been temporary the last few years, a pattern that can't maintain itself indefinitely
- though there're no imminent indications of any permanence in my life. Inevitably I will "settle down"
somewhere at some point in time - that's a given - but I've yet to make that choice about when or where, though
over time the urge to do so may be sneaking up on me. I wonder how many more times I can uproot myself after a
year somewhere before deciding I've had enough of that?
My next step is to spend some time in the United States, a recent decision that was as much of an abrupt surprise
to me as it was to those I've informed thus far. I have several reasons for going back there and mixed feelings
about doing so. The bottom line is that I need to be there a while in order to sort out some issues and to get
some clarity on the next phase of my life. I have no intention of staying put just yet, nor do I wish to recreate
my previous way of life there. This is a temporary move and for how long is totally unclear. We'll see what happens.
This'll be a break from my life abroad while taking advantage of the opportunity to see family and friends who
are scattered around the country. This'll necessitate some traveling and perhaps I'll pick up some occasional work
doing who knows what - I wouldn't mind taking a break from teaching. Maybe I'll do a retreat somewhere, exchanging
work for an opportunity to blend into a spiritually nurturing environment where I can focus on expanding a yoga
practice that I can't seem to live without these days.
I am looking forward to relaxing and taking a break from the challenges of living in a "developing country".
I've recently gotten over an acute intestinal infection and a few drawn out, stressful hassles which have taken
their toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. Living in Guatemala is endlessly fascinating, as were Indonesia
and Mexico. However, I'm feeling the accumulative effect of the demands these countries place on anyone staying
there very long. There's a price to pay for spending a lot of time where certain trials and tribulations are part
and parcel of day-to-day living.
One aspect of life in Guatemala I won't miss is the general lawlessness. I've met so many people here who've been
robbed I couldn't count them all now, and this includes my son (at gunpoint once and a pickpocket another time)
and me (a pickpocket) - only small amounts fortunately. I've witnessed a break-in of a car plus a hit and run incident
(truck knocked down a motorbike) while walking down the street. I've watched people chasing a thief through the
marketplace. There's no wonder guns of all shapes, sizes and calibers are everywhere, but unfortunately you never
know who's packing one that you can't see. I've learned to be particularly vigilant and to accept that anything
could and might happen in this country.
I've commented before on the noise levels here - there's such a high tolerance of it by locals! It would almost
seem as if there's actually a strong affection or psychological need for it. Stores often set up huge speaker systems
at their doorways blasting music, apparently to attract customers, and these stereos compete with each other along
the streets. Inside many shops the racket is so loud that one can barely hear yourself thinking, much less a clerk
or cashier speaking to you. In restaurants they've got it cranked up too, sometimes with a TV blaring as well.
Once I went into a cheap neighborhood eatery for supper and couldn't help but notice a TV in the corner at high
volume with no-one paying attention to it. After I sat down, one employer nudged another after looking my way,
and the second guy reached over and turned on the radio… loudly, of course! They assumed I'd want to hear all the
"entertainment" they could possibly provide. I crave silence now and rejoice when I find it!
When someone has a birthday two things have to happen. First, firecrackers must be set off near their house early
in the morning - the more and the earlier the better - perhaps 5 am if possible? Then, later there's a party with
the most piercing salsa music you can possibly generate. That it's too loud for anyone to converse is of no importance,
nor does it matter if this racket might disturb anyone else within earshot, which in many cases would be a few
blocks! I went with some friends to a restaurant to watch game 7 of the NBA finals. It took some persistent pleading
by us to get them to turn off the blaring "perreo" (Latin hip hop) so we could at least hear the game
audio in Spanish, but once they did the TV was turned up so loud it was extremely difficult for us converse. Louder
is better here - always!
There's another experience I had recently which is a classic. My school decided to have a Talent Show for the students…
a fun idea. It started at 6 pm on a Friday night in the central courtyard. I have a class from 6 to 7 and the music
was such a din that in my classroom it was impossible to do anything! I'm sure it never occurred to those planning
this event that this would be an issue. Also, during normal class time the little children take periodic breaks
and run around screaming at the top of their lungs. No one would ever consider this to be a distraction… except
a foreign teacher like me. I should add that children are spoiled rotten in this culture, almost never disciplined
as far as I can see… especially the boys. They can run around screaming at the top of their lungs pretty much anywhere
they wish to and nothing will ever be said to them.
After having several frustrating living situations here in Xela, I finally found a wonderful residence just over
two months ago - the sixth different place in one year. The first five homes had various issues and the last of
these was the worst - unless living with an extremely unstable and volatile pathological liar who keeps a gun in
his room is to your liking. Not only was virtually everything that came out of his mouth total bullshit (including
his promises to make critical repairs to the house), but also in the end he exploded in rage one day and threatened
me after kicking in the door to my room! He's pulled either a gun or a knife on others in the past and I got out
of there none too soon!
I was fortunate to then move into a house that was set up by four "extranjeros" (foreigners) - two Americans,
and German and a Swede - as a yoga center. Classes are held each day with experienced teachers. I started practicing
yoga in 1970 and have done it on and off over the years, but never to the extent that I am now. I awake each morning
at 5 am and do 45 minutes to an hour - the best time of the day for me. The house and the entire world surrounding
me are quiet… except for the occasional explosion of firecrackers. It's such a joy and has done my body and peace
of mind wonders.
Living in the Casa de Yoga are ten others, a mixed bag of nationalities - all here for various reasons,
some of them fairly long term. I've been paying the equivalent of just over $50/month for a small but adequate
room with shared bath. The vegetarian meals that come out of the kitchen are remarkable and are often done communally,
though spontaneously. A few months ago I was having a really hard time living in Xela, which might have been obvious
to some readers. Most of that had to do with my crappy living situation, but I think my lack of socializing was
a problem too. That's been corrected, though unfortunately nearly at the end of my stay.
Staying healthy can also be difficult in a country where sanitation standards are poor. While traveling here a
year ago I contracted giardia, which took me a month to shake off, and I recently had this infection, which hit
me hard. I ended up taking a lot of antibiotics to deal with that - something I hate doing! Almost everyone who
stays here for a long time eventually has tummy or lower tract issues and diarrhea is a common topic of conversation.
One woman in my house just learned that she has tapeworm eggs! No matter how careful one is about what and where
to eat, it's still basically a roll of the dice!
I arrived in Guatemala June 12, 2004 and so it'll be slightly over a year later that I'm leaving. In this time
I've gotten to see not only most of this country, but also a large part of Central America. In fact, Belize is
the only country in the Northern Hemisphere I haven't been in and in most of those countries, from Canada south,
I've traveled extensively. I came from Indonesia to Latin America the first week of October 2003 and since then
have really enjoyed the people and culture, with a few exceptions.
The laidback lifestyle is terrific, even if it sometimes tests one's patience. For example, while I was recently
waiting for someone to keep an appointment, a friend of mine in the house commented on the "Rule of 40".
The other guy was already two hours late and I was wondering if he was coming at all. His comment, "Here in
Guatemala, I figure there's a 40 % chance he'll show up at all and if he does, he'll probably be at least 40 minutes
late." By the way, the guy never showed up.
The priorities of life here are not about time schedules. In my classes at school it takes a bit of effort to convince
students to be punctual - a combination of logical reasoning, mild scolding, good-hearted teasing, peer pressure
from fellow students, plus occasional extra homework has been helpful. But I've also learned to give up my agenda
on having all the students there at the beginning of class and have structured my lesson plans accordingly. It's
really the only complaint I have about my students. Otherwise they've been a delight! Whereas many of my students
in Mexico were lazy, spoiled, disrespectful brats who made teaching a grind at times, here in Guatemala I've absolutely
loved, loved, loved my students! They're the best ever and teaching's been a dream. God I love them and will miss
them!
Latin America has been tough on my social life, and I'm talking about female social life here folks. It's a conservative
culture and casual dating (read between the lines here) is not common. Most women are married at a young age, divorce
is rare and almost anyone who's not married lives with their parents - regardless of age or income bracket. The
owner of the first language school I worked for here had lived in both London and Guatemala City for several years
and when he came back to Xela in his early thirties, his parents were astonished and hurt when he opted to get
his own apartment.
I suppose if I went to the clubs and learned how to salsa dance I might get a date. I like to dance, but I hate
bars, especially the cigarette smoke, plus I don't really drink alcohol and the whole scene and clientele are just
not my bag at all. So… I guess that leaves me with more money for other priorities.
I'm going to miss the culture here. The only place other than Xela that I can ever recall containing so much intrinsic
entertainment value while just sitting in a park and people watching was Kathmandu, Nepal. In both places the barrage
of colors and other sensory stimuli are nonstop, due to all the clothing and other cultural accoutrements that
are present. It's endlessly fascinating. Guatemala is 60 to 70% indigenous with Xela an even higher percentage
than that, and the areas I frequent (except at my school) are almost exclusively Maya.
Nearly all the men dress in North American style, but the women display an astonishing woven tapestry of patterns,
all of which have significance with every design rich in symbolism. Traditional clothing is an indication of not
only what village a women comes from, but also her approximate age, marital status and social standing - done out
of respect for centuries of Mayan beliefs and cosmology. The weaver blends both tradition and innovation within
her creative expression and although the casual viewer may not grasp all the deeper meanings of it all, the results
are no less stunning to the appreciative eye.
Yet there's another even deeper element within "traje" which is the centuries of discrimination that's
accompanied it since the onset of Spanish colonialism. There's always been extreme oppression by the ruling elite
and the traditional clothing was a means of isolating and identifying indigenous people. Consequently its use has
diminished at times as a means of survival, in fact, that's why men seldom wear it. They were required to leave
the home and villages to secure work and didn't dare risk the harassment and even worse treatment dealt out to
those who could be so easily targeted. During the Civil War (1960 to 1996) men would be forcibly conscripted into
the army to fight against their own kind and "traje" could be their death sentence.
Also in modern times, women are still forced to give up traditional clothing as a precondition to accepting jobs
or going to school. After having to overcome sexism within a fiercely patriarchal, chauvinistic society, this is
like having salt poured into the wound. There've been incidents of women being refused admittance to restaurants
and nightclubs by racist owners and managers. Five hundred years after the conquistadors initiated their systematic
slaughter of the Maya, their identity is still being threatened, but despite this, the tradition has endured remarkably
well. Walking around Xela and the surrounding villages goes beyond aesthetics - it's a journey through a history
of struggle, a survival against overwhelming odds, and a celebration of a heroically enduring people!
I just love these people, despite the little things that at times have nearly driven me mad! It seems a bit patronizing
to call them "sweet", but for me that description seems to fit. In this way they remind me of the Tibetans
and the Balinese, two other groups that I've become incredibly fond of. All of them are kind, gentle, and especially
warm in their typically stoic way. They're also patient, except while behind the wheel of a vehicle when they treat
their car horn like a bongo drum.
It's rare indeed to hear a complaint. I guess living here demands that, what with the extraordinary degree of disfunctionality
that's an inevitable part of each day. Eventually one becomes conditioned to accept the likelihood that virtually
anything will fail to function the way "it should". Water, electricity, internet service, and numerous
public services are to be appreciated when they exist and when they're not… well, what's the point of complaining,
right? Tolerance for "incompetence" and "stupidity" by others whose decisions affect life is
another hallmark of being a true Guatemalan. Probably the strongest allowable reaction is a mild shrug of the shoulders.
They're great "adapters", enduring the worst with equanimity and a smile. But, they also "roll over"
quite easily, putting up with injustices and abuse when others might protest… to a point. Then all their frustrations
erupt, often with violence. It seems to be one extreme or the other.
This trend of calm equanimity is admirable and I strive to silently and graciously endure. On my best days I do.
How many of those "best days" do I have? Depends. I went through a phase a couple of months ago where
I didn't do well at all and all the air pollution and trash, incessant noise, public urination and defecation,
power failures and lack of water virtually every day, indifference to time schedules and remarkable ineffectiveness
of systems - all the normal occurrences were making me half-crazy. Of course it didn't help that I was living with
a lunatic.
Some things I will miss about Guatemala:
- The wonderful people.
- The laidback, "no hurry" way of life.
- The inexpensive tropical fruit (mangoes, pineapples, papayas, etc).
- The temperate climate.
- The low cost of living.
- The amazing clothing the women wear.
- The friends I've made here - locals, travelers and other ex-patriots.
- The mild earthquakes - commonplace and entertaining.
- Shopping in the mercados (public markets) - great fun.
- The opportunity to improve my Spanish, which I can now abuse in eight tenses!
I don't think I need to reiterate the things I won't miss, though I didn't mention having to travel to the border
every 90 days to renew my visa… a colossal pain in the ass! Oh, and there're the doorways that are as high as my
nose, causing me to constantly have open wounds on my head… won't miss them either! In terms of what I'll like
about being in the U.S. for a while, I'll just have to wait and see. I know of some things I'm looking forward
to (besides seeing family and friends, of course).
For example, the idea of being able to soak in a big hot bathtub (impossible where I've lived the last 3 years)
really appeals to me. I know that the first time I spot a Borders or Barnes & Noble bookstore, I'll be tearing
at the bit for browsing opportunities. I know the general cleanliness and higher sanitation standards will be a
nice change of pace. And even though I'm not a big TV watcher, the first time I have a remote control and the option
of surfing 80 channels in English, I'll probably go nuts with that… for a while.
I also suspect that there'll be some things I won't like, but rather than speculate on that now I'll just wait
and see what happens. I wish to stay open. Plus, I really have no idea how this break in living abroad will affect
my writing "On the Roads". If I feel like writing and believe that I have something worthwhile sharing,
I will… but let's wait and see about that too, ok?
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Until I don't know when,